FMB: Chapter 3 - 1/3 done!

[lavanya_six]

This draft is looking pretty solid. It's nearly double the length of previous ones, weighing in at a hefty 5900 words so far. I've managed to incorporate pieces from nearly every previous draft in a non-sucky (I hope) way. The thing I'm happiest about is that I've finally managed to juggle the six characters present for the Iroh/Toph mutual verbal smackdown.

Now I just need to write the big Iroh/Toph fight sequence, the Aang/Zuko fight, and then wrap everything up. Needless to say, Chapter 3 is going to be damn big.
 

On a completely unrelated note, here's some awesome fanart that has Zuko and Aang taking bongs hits.

Comments

[martikhoras.livejournal.com]

When I first heard of Full Metal Bitch...
I avoided it. Gawd Toph isn't just a badass she's rich, older, sexy grim veteran its sounded like the worst splooges of internet ideas.

The thing is not that so much as an examination of the rugged badass and Toph comes off less wise so much as runover. Think like a rockstar or something. Legitimate painful experiences few get as a result of their decisions. But not necessarily enlightened sage.

It has plenty of that open criticizing of Aang people who REALLY hate Lionturtle/energybending/thefinale crave but ... well is fairer than most have been. Toph calls Aang on his inconsistencies moreover Aang seems.. well sane. I mean he has some self righteousness and demands. But at the same time he freaks over stuff that's really freakable and makes damn good points wise beyond his years but still twelve. And he is defiant but partially listens.

The difference to the encounter with Iroh is.. okay they always made an interesting pair but it is nice and nice to have someone who can call Toph fairly on her shit AND Iroh at last not perfect. Okay I mean he's wise and experienced and insightful but Toph is neither an impenetrable mystery nor Iroh's 'wisdom' effective omniscience. That last is key because in fanfiction often you can't imagine Iroh making the White Jade mistake and if its an AU or what have you his wisdom will be a means to perfectly exposition and instruct the main cast (who don't have a clue) on a 1:1 basis. It normally doesn't matter as much but its like hitting the really difficult notes in star spangled banner. Okay so you're able to be this good where normally this would be a less neat thing. Despite Toph's reputation expansion he can't ID her at sight (Never a flaw I seriously think people don't appreciate how hard this is to do in a pre-jpegs everywhere without important and personal exposure).

It seems more of a two way street. Aang is going to be taught how to be a little more pragmatic and maybe lethal and not as defiant. Toph is going to learn to climb the stairway over her damned self. The awesome thing is everyone is mostly awesome. Even Sokka who hasn't gotten the chance to be (the quick catch and his handling of the sword, he's a goof and all but... I mean seriously). poor li and lo.

[lavanyasix.livejournal.com]

>The thing is not that so much as an examination of the rugged badass and Toph comes off less wise so much as runover. Think like a rockstar or something. Legitimate painful experiences few get as a result of their decisions. But not necessarily enlightened sage.

Honestly, when I saw reviewers talking about FMB as a deconstruction of Toph's badassness, I was surprised. The basic premise is very crack-y, and it's something I just rattled off on a whim for a fanfic meme Avocado Love was running on her lj, so I never went into the fic with any intention to deconstruct stuff. But "death of the author" and all that.

>Despite Toph's reputation expansion he can't ID her at sight (Never a flaw I seriously think people don't appreciate how hard this is to do in a pre-jpegs everywhere without important and personal exposure).

This will be explained in the next chapter, but it's where the "full metal" in the story's title refers to -- Toph wore a concealing suit of armor when she fought in the Siege of Ba Sing Se, so Iroh didn't even know Toph's gender. Plus Iroh never served on the front lines at the siege, so they would never personally meet in battle.

[martikhoras.livejournal.com]

Well its likely the cracky exuberance. Toph's larger than life do anything attitude and persona are just that. A persona. Moreover underneath that is someone who is honestly haunted.

The new garden scene for instance or the fact she's still catching up to Piandao, a mere mortal. The fact she's been right about Aang... and wrong (the elctrons weren't cold from broadcast before people were "speculating" Aang wasn't a 'real' master but go to Zuko and he's a ninja, translator, statesman, master tactician, and a poet because all samurai are and Zuko is totally like that...)

At the same time Aang can't handle himself in a battle like Toph but she admits his potential and accomplished expertise (something she never does in canon... for anyone) he has thoughts and ideas indicative of maturity and depth (beyond is horndogging and needy for Katara not even Stormbenders managed that).

The story is centered on Toph but she isn't the voice of credibility. I don't think its a deconstruction. Just playing an idea with depth and straightness but with cracky exuberance.

I would compare it to Elements of War in that regard. Crazy idea but well excuted with fair consideration and interesting mash ups. I don't get Toph's deal with her family though. Not yet anyway.