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lavanya_sixTitle: The Full Metal Bitch
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: R
Summary: What if Toph had been 22, not 12, when the Gaang had met her in "The Blind Bandit"?
Notes: Special thanks to ~sylvacoer and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
attackfish for beta reading this fic!
"--the BLIND BANDIT!"
The knockout in the shiny green cheongsam raised the belt high. The crowd went nuts.
At first glance Sokka thought the lady on stage, flanked by two slimmer women in white dresses, was just another showgirl. It was only when the two attendants took away her sequined cape and the giant belt that it dawned on Sokka that this woman wasn't introducing the champion. She was the champion.
It as then and there that Sokka decided, Water Tribe pride be damned, if earthbending gladiators could show off legs that go up to there, then maybe the Earth Kingdom had something over his own nation.
* * *
"Please listen! I need an earthbending teacher, and I think it's supposed to be you."
The twenty-something laughed a touch bitterly. "I think you just showed you're pretty good already, kid." The Blind Bandit reached into the diamond-shaped window on her dress, pulled a small piece of paper out of her cleavage and handed it to him. "Come see me tomorrow, Fancy Dancer. I can beat whatever merchandising rights Xin Fu promises you -- Toph Bei Fong deals in gross, not net, and anyone who says otherwise is a son of a bitch."
Aang pondered the warmth imbedded in the sweat-and-sandalwood perfumed business card for long enough that when he finally looked up, the Blind Bandit was gone.
* * *
Katara decided five minutes on that a 'business dinner' was the most horrible thing a human being could experience, and she'd been buried alive.
After they flashed the business card at the front gate, the three of them were relieved of their boots and given pedicures. Servants washed their feet but no indoor shoes or slippers were provided. Apparently everyone went barefoot inside the walls of the estate. It was because, as the maid scrubbing between Katara's toes explained, the mistress of the house had been raised to be 'a proper lady' and expected her guests to go barefoot too. "Lady Toph asked us to inform you," the maid added, "that the part about being pregnant is entirely optional."
That should have been a clue.
A guard escorted them inside to a dining room. There were three people waiting for them, an older, grey-haired couple sitting quietly at one end of the table and, dominating the opposite end, was Lady Toph Bei Fong.
She had ditched her napkin-sized dress for a form-fitting, high-necked mint green silk blouse and matching pants. A wide, dark green sash was tied around the woman's waist. Katara wondered who was in charge of dressing the blind woman, because while the colors were tasteful it was all a bit too tight and eye-catching for a woman's modesty.
There was certainly no need for Lady Toph to need to catch anyone's eye. It was hard to ignore a woman so large that she made her own dinner table look like a child's play set.
Lady Toph bid them a boisterous welcome and then kicked up her bare feet on the table. Her soles were soot black. Katara glanced at the elder Bei Fongs for their reaction, but they both simply stared at their table settings with expressions that went beyond resignation into some heretofore unexplored realm of ignominy.
The food was of a quality that Katara hadn't tasted since their group's welcoming feast at the North Pole, but the silk table cloth and general finery of the estate house were a step far above the austerity of the Northern Water Tribe's palace. Everything about the Bei Fongs screamed money and they weren't shy about it.
Their shiny dinner plates, for instance, were made of something that looked like steel but was far lighter. When she asked about it, Lady Toph slurred that they were made of something called 'aluminum'. Katara has the sense she's supposed to be impressed by that for some reason.
"Just so you know," Lady Toph said between swigs straight from a massive bottle of rice wine, as she perilously tilted her chair backwards, "I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Fancy Dancer. I know I was a little bit of a bitch last night." She rubbed her red nose. "I don't like to lose. But itsh okay! I've been winning for too long. A challenge now and then helps keep even the meanest Saber-tooth Moose-lion at the top of her pack, y'know? Plus it'll make for great ticket sales next season when I stage my comeback! So practice hard for Earth Rumble VII -- I'll be out for you!"
Aang smiled politely. "Actually, I won't be competing next season."
Lady Toph slowly set down her rice wine bottle. "Oh?"
Everyone else in the dining room froze. The help paused mid-motion, holding bowls of soup halfway down to the table. Katara realized that their eyes were darting between Lady Toph's measured blankness and Aang's happy ignorance. Sokka squawked when one nervous server overfilled his cup, spilling wine all over his place setting and into his lap.
"I'm kind of going to be busy defeating the Fire Lord. See, I'm the Avatar." There was the usual round of questions and demonstrations, which ended with Lady Toph staring blankly at him and Aang declaring, "...but first I need to find an earthbending teacher."
To which Lady Toph replied, "Huh."
The servants went back to their tasks and then quickly shuffled out of the dining room. Hidden beneath the cover of the table, Katara's freshly pedicured toes curled.
Aang rolled on excitedly, "This crazy friend of mine who's King of Omashu said I needed to find someone who waits and listens to the earth, a master of neutral jing. Plus I had a vision in a magic swamp where I saw you and a flying boar and then I recognized you at the Earth Rumble and your business card as a flying boar inked on it and--"
The noblewoman motioned for silence. "That's great. So, what, you want me to recommend a good instructor? Because I know a few. Hell, I own all the dojos in Gaoling. Give me a name and I'll comp you all the lessons you need. Toph Bei Fong supports the war effort one hundred and ten percent."
Katara blinked. "Really?"
"So, like, even Master Yu works for you?" asked Sokka. "Because Aang had a coupon for him and he kinda sucked."
A wolfish smile spread across Lady Toph's face. "Yu and I go waaaay back. See, I used to run away a lot when I was younger and my parents -- " she gestured to the meek couple at the far end of the table " -- would pay him to go bring me back. I got to thinking... my parents were paying him a buttload of gold to catch me. So I cut a deal with him to 'run away' a few times and be caught for a slice of the reward. I used that seed money to make my first fortune in the weapons trade and then secretly bought out my Dad's businesses. Now I don't need to run away from home -- I own it! So yeah, Master Yu rocks."
"That's horrible!" exclaimed Katara. "How could you do that to your own mother and father?!"
"With a smile." Lady Toph threw her head back and laughed, loud as a thundercrack. The porcelain teacups rattled in their saucers. "Oh yes, I'm a total bastard, aren't I?"
"Dear!" chided her mother, speaking for the first time that night.
Lady Toph shot her mother a dirty look, somehow fixing her a stink eye with the same precision targeting she used to battle the Boulder the night before. Her mother turned away. Her father reached out and took hold of his wife's hand. They held onto each other like they were both drowning and didn't want to sink down into the murk alone
Katara pushed her dinner plate away, appetite lost.
"Although not a bastard in the sense I was born out of wedlock." Toph held up an index finger. "I want that to be very clear. My parents are many things, but morally lax isn't -- well, they are, honestly, but not about sex."
Dinner went downhill from there.
* * *
Sokka wasn't sure what was better about dessert: the cake or the eye candy.
* * *
"It's just ahead," said Toph. "C'mon."
Aang followed. The woman led him to the rear of her family estate, to an extension that budded off the main compound. At first Aang thought the standalone building was a shrine or private study, but he was not twenty feet from the door when the wind shifted and a wave of heat and smoke washed over him.
Walking inside only confirmed his suspicion; it was a forge.
Toph led him into the middle of the metal workshop, then told him to wait. She went over to a far wall, one decorated with a range of metalwork spanning from swords, dishes, axes, helmets, to even what looked to be an arm and a leg.
The earthbender retrieved two sheathed swords.
Tossing the black-clad one onto a cluttered worktable next to her, she held out the other sword, sheathed in lacquered ebony-oak inlaid with an entwined double dragon motif. Even in the dim smoldering light of the forge's starved furnace, the scabbard's golden inlay gleamed. Intertwined blue and red dragons and stylized suns and tongues of flame rippled over its burnished surface.
Toph grasped the blade by its silk-cord-wrapped hilt and smoothly drew the sword out. She held the blade aloft, tip pointing towards the ceiling. "This is a genuine Piandao. Not ten years ago, you couldn't find a better piece of craftsmanship in the world if you were in the market for a sword. It has balance, flexibility and strength. In the Fire Nation, it's an elite status symbol to own a Piandao sword. That's why the scabbard's all flash. It belonged to a firebender who never relied on a sword in battle."
"If it belonged to a firebender, how did you get a hold of it?"
"You're asking a blind person to draw you a picture?"
Toph airily swung the blade around in flourishing circles to either side of Aang. He did not feel the least threatened. If the last few months on the road had taught him anything about fighting, it's that there was a clear difference between a weapon used with killing intent and one taken out by a showboat for martial practice.
He'd still like to know how a 'blind' woman can do this without accidentally chopping his head off.
Toph finished her set and gently laid the Piandao sword aside on a nearby stone table. She picked up the other sword from the cluttered workbench and silently presented it to Aang. The sheath was a pebbly, lackluster black. The hilt was undyed ray-shark leather. Aesthetically, it wasn't even a novice's effort compared to the beauty of the Piandao.
She drew the blade. There were no elegant loops and twirls this time. She simply turned to the right, raised the weapon over her head, and, with a wicked scream that pierced the night, brought the sword down in a chopping motion. Both the Piandao sword and the three-inch thick stone table it was resting on were cut clean in half.
Aang stumbled back in fright.
"And that," Toph Bei Fong declared, "is one of my swords."
The noblewoman partially sheathed the killer blade and offered it to him. Aang stared at the gift, half-certain it will bite him like a rabid rat-viper after that performance, but tentatively accepted it.
Toph warned him, "Don't pull it out all the way. Don't touch the edges, either. It'll take a finger off."
Aang found the blade astonishingly lightweight. If he hadn't just seen it cut through solid stone, he would have guessed it was made of painted wood rather than steel. He balanced the plain black sheath across his palms, then warily gripped it by the hilt and pulled the sword out a little. The wavelike blue-and-black patterned steel jumped out at Aang. It was exactly the same kind of steel that the Blue Spirit had drawn across his neck at the Pohuai Stronghold.
Toph bent the stone table back into one piece. "Bei Fong swords are the finest in the world," she explained calmly. "There's not a man in the Earth Kingdom that doesn't wish he had one of my blades in his hands when he faces the Fire Nation in battle. And you can bet that the firebenders are afraid of them."
"Why?"
"Because this was the kind of blade that harassed the Fire Nation at the Siege of Ba Sing Se." Toph hopped up onto the stone workbench and crossed her legs. Flicking her long black hair over her shoulder, she said, "I was there, you know. On the Wall."
Aang returned the sword to its scabbard and held it out for the noblewoman. Somehow, she knew exactly where to reach. "Were you scared?"
"I was young and stupid and pissed at my parents." Toph shrugged. "I was sixteen. Go figure."
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't have to," she said casually. "I'm a grown woman."
"I'm twelve. I'm scared a lot."
"Yeah, being a kid sucks." Toph smiled at some memory replaying behind her milky eyes. It was the first time Aang feels like she wasn't putting a show for the world around her, or for herself. "When I was twelve, I dreamed about running away from home. Even did it a few times. Kept coming back, though."
"How come?"
She chuckled softly. "Because there was no where to run to."
He thought back to that last night in the Southern Air Temple, of the burning desire to go anywhere and be someone else. At least he still had Appa. At least he found Katara and Sokka. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Toph said, her mirth draining away. "I'm not a kid anymore. I made a mint during the Siege of Ba Sing Se plying my metalwork and now I'm in control. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want."
Aang was impressed. "Wow! That must be really great. If I didn't have to fight the Fire Lord, I'd spend all my time with my friends."
Toph turned her face away from him. The motion grabbed Aang's attention because the blind woman hadn't yet bothered either way with line-of-sight between them. Feeling guilty at upsetting her, Aang reached out and laid a comforting hand on her upper arm. "Toph, I--"
"If I needed a friend, I'd get a poodle-monkey." She brushed away his hand. "Let's get down to business. You want me to be your earthbending instructor. Why?"
"My friend Bumi said--"
"No. Why do you want me to teach you, Avatar?"
Aang hesitated for a moment. This was one of Those Questions, the kind Gyatso used to slip into small talk during Pai Sho games. "I... think destiny wants us to work together, but that's not why. Not really. I want you to teach me because you're a great earthbender, Toph, and because you're the most earthbender-y person I know."
"That's not a real word, kid."
He spread his palms. "Well, what would you call it? You're loud, direct and -- " hard " -- proud."
"The term you're looking for," said Toph, a smirk gracing her heart-shaped face, "is 'badass'."
Aang smiled too. "Being the Avatar is more than just learning how to bend the elements, it's about understanding the ways of the Four Nations so you can bring harmony to them."
"And you think I'm the person to teach you about the Earth Kingdom?" When he nodded, she barked with laughter. "Not much to know, kid. Stand your ground to the people attacking from the front. Watch your back for knives from the people standing behind you. Never change, even when you need to. Rot from the inside of your heart out. That's the Earth Kingdom way."
Aang pondered at how a blind woman could 'see' him nod his head. Were the milky eyes just a trick? He crossed his own grey eyes at her and stuck out his tongue. Toph didn't take offense. Then how? She hadn't cut him with that sword and she had been coordinated enough at dinner to reach across the table and eat off Katara's plate when she had turned up her nose at the second course.
Toph was just so strange. There was something really off about her self-assuredness. It wasn't something Aang thought to connect with a blind person. And no earthbender he had ever met had such terribly filthy, well-traveled feet. Aang bet she could have rubbed her soles together to light a fire if she didn't have spark rocks handy.
...Feet...
Aang looked at Toph's feet.
Toph was a tall woman, and all the tables in this foundry had apparently been made to be extra high off the ground so she could comfortably use them. She had one foot pressed up against the leg on the stone workbench, but the other foot was halfway stepping off the ground. Toph had to really stretch her leg out to touch the ground. Aang didn't understand how she wasn't cramping up.
No, he realized with dawning awareness, that's not the right question.
The right question was: why make such an effort to touch the ground in the first place?
The answer burst from his lips so quickly that he didn't even give a first thought to holding back, "You see with your earthbending, don't you?!"
Toph, who had been lazing on the edge of the workbench, snapped upright. The easygoing expression on her faces tightened into something unpleasant. She hopped off the workbench and took two steps over towards Aang. Towering over him, she stared him down with unblinking milky jade eyes and declared, "Congratulations. I'm impressed."
"...Thanks?"
"Let's cut the chatter. You want me to leave behind a lucrative business empire to live in the dust and eat wild critters... all so I can cram earthbending into your head before the end of the summer so you, a little twelve year-old boy, can take on the Fire Lord?"
Aang tugs at his collar. "Well--"
"No."
"What?"
"My answer. Is no." Toph tucked a strand of raven-crow black hair back behind one ear. Her unseeing eyes were hard, like jade buried deep within white diamonds. "I won't be your earthbending teacher."
"But you have to be!" cried Aang. "We all have to do our part to end this war. And yours is to teach me earthbending, I know it is!"
Toph's lips curled back, revealing gleaming teeth and spit-slick gums. "I was 'doing my part' on the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se, fighting alongside good men and women who didn't come home. Tell me, where was the Avatar when the Fire Nation broke through the Outer Wall? Why wasn't the Avatar there to stop the Dragon of the West when he was ready to burn the heart of the Earth Kingdom to ashes?!"
Aang blinked away tears. Voice throaty, he gave the only reasonable response -- a question. "Why wasn't the Avatar there when his own people were wiped out? Because... because he ran away."
The noblewoman pivoted on one blackened heel, turning her back to him. Shoulders rigid, Toph sucked in a sharp breath, held it, and then said in a low voice that brooked no argument, "Get out. Before I say something I'll regret."
* * *
Toph waited until the kid was out of sight before she allowed herself to cradle her burning face in her hands. It's been ages since she had gotten good and angry. Toph left many things at the Wall, her temper among them. Or so she thought.
Little bastard, she thought to herself, grinding the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. How dare he? What right does the Avatar have to live with his mistake?
Rather than show her flushed cheeks and moist eyes to the help, Toph busied herself by picking up the broken Piandao from the floor. The twenty-two year old knew an onlooker would be shocked by the brazen disregard she showed for her own safety, grabbing the edged weapon with both fists like it was a butter knife. It was why she didn't let anyone inside her workshop. Toph had to protect her trade secret.
Holding the two sword halves together, Toph concentrated on the metal. The cut edges of the Piandao steel bubbled and morphed, merging back together into a single piece. The job wasn't done yet. There were microscopic stress fractures in the metal, ones invisible to normal human eyes or hands. In time, they could grow and cause the blade to break. Toph didn't plan on swordfighting anytime soon, let alone with his weapon, but she respected good metalwork. With a thousand subtle manipulations of the refined Earth sprinkled through the steel, Toph repaired the fracturing. In less than a minute the sword was as good as new.
After she first held a Piandao, Toph had spent days running her fingers up and down the cool steel, committing every particle of the many-layered sword to memory. She still had yet to see anything as beautiful as the alignment of the refined earth elements in a Piandao: the high-quality steel, the absence of bubbles or major impurities, the endless folds and the lethal focus of its edge.
Earth Kingdom swords were, as a rule, crap. For all the mineral richness of their continent, Toph knew her people typically couldn't forge good steel to save their lives. How could they, when a decent industrial firebender could personally generate a far higher temperature in their foundry and with exacting precision? Earth Kingdom swords were all potential, no payoff.
Toph's secret was that she forged her own swords with more than just fire. The whole hammer and anvil set-up helped speed things along, synthesizing her secret alloy from base materials, but the hard work she did hands-on. Toph sculpted her steel with metalbending, creating swords impossible to duplicate by other means.
The ingredients in her steel were exotic ores that Toph discovered while wandering the Earth Kingdom as a vagabond youth. Most of her alloying ingredients didn't even have true names, like iron or gold did, but Toph had trained her sense to recognize each one's distinct feel. Toph alone could extract them from base rock. She had made her second fortune that way in the aluminum trade. Along with her metalbending, it was the secret to her success as a swordsmith. No one else could compete on her level.
Piandao came close, though.
People said Piandao was not a firebender. His parents had pawned him off to a state orphanage when he had proven not to be a bender. Toph often wondered how he forged his blades. A simple furnace like she herself supposedly used? Or did he have a secret bending technique too, one his parents had appreciated? Either way, he certainly folded over his steel like nobody's business.
Toph owned another Piandao, one hidden away in her private underground bedroom alongside her library of premium weapons, rock collection, metallic exotica and fossils. It was hers and hers alone, not like the second-hand booty she had showed Aang. Toph had obtained her original at great expense through a black market trader who ran a merchant ship through the Fire Navy Blockade via the colonies in the Occupied Provinces.
Sometimes Toph went to sleep with that Piandao sword just to hold onto something so perfect. It almost made her time on the Wall worth it, to have stumbled across such a wonderful piece of earth amidst so much carnage.
And then there was the rest of time, when she wasn't being a selfish dumbass.
Sheathing her battlefield prize, Toph set the Piandao and her own demonstration sword back on the foundry's far wall. It was late. She had a large order to fill for some general named Fong and a bad night's sleep always made the job that much harder.
* * *
Aang was stumbling through the dark garden when he bumped into Sokka. The Water Tribe boy got the first word in. Aang was worn out from his conversation with the lady of the house.
"Hey," said Sokka, looking past him. "Is Toph back that way?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Sokka twiddled his fingers together. "Oh, you know. I just thought we could have a little talk, warrior to warrior. Swap stories. Maybe have a friendly drink or two." He sighed wistfully. "Didja know she led some sort of special task force during the Siege of Ba Sing Se? I saw her uniform display when her old lady was taking us on that walking tour. Imagine that -- rich, a looker, a class act and a war hero. Aside from me being dirt poor, we have so much in common!"
There were many things wrong with that statement. Before Aang could correct his friend on any of them, metal cages slammed down on him and Sokka.
An ominous voice growled, "I think you boys owe me some money."
* * *
Sokka gripped the bars of his cage and leaned forward. "I know, I know. You must get asked this a lot, but can I have your autograph?"
"SOKKA!" cried Aang from his own cage, slung over the Big Bad Hippo. "There's a time and a place!"
"The Boulder concurs," said the muscled gladiator, glancing up at Sokka. "Autographs must come from officially licensed Earth Rumble retailers during regular business hours."
"Aw! Come on!" Sokka stuck one scraggly arm out through the bars. "Just on the bicep is fine. I won't tell anyone! What do you have to be afraid of anyway?"
"The Boulder fears no man! Breach of contract, however..."
"Quit yer yapping," Xin Fu ordered. The ringmaster glanced back at his troop of professional earthbenders. "I want to get as far away from that crazy bitch's house as quickly and quietly as possible."
"Hey!" shouted Sokka. "How dare you insult a lady! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Toph Bei Fong is the sweetest, most gentle creature to walk the face of the Earth!" Everyone exploded with laughter, including Aang, which confused Sokka. "What? Is basic chivalry too much to ask for in this day and age? And Aang -- you're a hundred and twelve! Shouldn't you be charmingly old-fashioned?!"
"I like to think of myself as a hundred and twelve years young, Sokka."
* * *
Katara knelt to the grass. Reaching out, she felt around in the broad grove carved into the ground where sod once was. "There has to be a clue. Something to lead us to Sokka and Aang!"
"It's not that big of a mystery," said Lady Toph, yawning. "Xin Fu took them, obviously."
"What?" Katara stalked over to her. A sharp odor of liquor cut through the cool nighttime air. Katara wasn't sure if it was stronger coming from the earthbender's breath or from the jewel-encrusted golden goblet pasted into her left hand. "Who's Xin Fu? How do you know him?"
Lady Toph's lips hovered over the rim of the cup. She smiled. "He's the scoundrel who runs the Earth Rumble. A little too prone to bypass negotiations and go straight to cracking knees, but otherwise he's been a good investment." She paused to take a sip. "I'm a silent partner in the Earth Rumble league but let's keep that fact between us girls, m'kay? I don't want anyone to get the idea we fix the matches. It's more like... a personal gym, with my own private collection of sweaty hunks and adoring cheerleaders."
"You do business with that kind of man?!"
"I'll do business with anyone who doesn't bend fire."
"That's horrible!"
"That's business," Lady Toph retorted. "Xin Fu is a jerk, but the Earth Rumble he started employs dozens of people and makes thousands more happy. On the balance, it's a net positive. Didn't your parents ever tell you greed is good?"
Katara averted her eyes, disgusted with the wretch standing in front of her. "No, but I bet yours did, didn't they?"
"Yup."
"If Xin Fu runs the Earth Rumble, then he probably took Aang and Sokka to the arena."
"Fair bet. It's his territory. He knows all the ins and outs. Legally, he can do whatever he wants with anyone who trespasses. Fortunately you have me on your side, so that won't be an issue."
"Then let's go!" Katara started for the estate's front gate but was yanked backwards by a hand on her shoulder.
Lady Toph said, "Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up, kid. We can't just rush in there."
"...You're right," Katara conceded, almost choking on her own words. "We need a plan."
"I meant I need to finish my nightcap first, sweetheart." She saluted Katara. "Cheers."
Katara slapped the wine cup out of Lady Toph's hands. All the servants and guards floating around the edge of the scene shirked away, afraid. "Don't you care about anything?! Sokka and Aang could be hurt or worse and you're just standing around getting drunker!"
The long, slim fingers on the hand that held her wine cup twiddled in the air, as if searching for their proper place. They found it when Lady Toph took hold of Katara by the collar of her white-trimmed robe and jerked her off her feet. Dangling over a foot in the air, Katara was brought eye-to-eye with the blind noblewoman.
Flatly, Lady Toph declared, "Let's get one thing straight, little girl. I don't need to help you. I don't particularly want to help you. I'd rather start sleeping off my burgeoning hangover. However, I will help you for the simple reason that Xin Fu has disrespected me and mine by attacking a guest in my house. That shit will not stand. No, no. So please try to get it through that thick Water Tribe skull of yours that if I won't tolerate disrespect towards my guests, neither would I tolerate it from a guest." Lady Toph shook her for emphasis. "Got it?"
With the unerring accuracy of a younger sibling used to effortlessly scoring cheap shots off her brother's weak points, Katara zeroed in on what she knew about Lady Toph and replied, "Sure do, Mom."
The noblewoman flinched. Katara grinned inwardly even as she was dropped and landed hard on her tailbone.
"Whatever." Lady Toph cracked her knuckles. "Let's go rescue the boys. Hopefully they're holding together all right."
* * *
"I had dinner with the Blind Bandit, got a free pedicure and was personally kidnapped by the Boulder." Sokka sighed against the bars of his cage. "This has been the best day ever."
From his own cage several feet away, Aang asked, "What about that time you foiled Jet's plan to destroy that village?"
"That was a good day too, but it didn't involve dinner with a--" Sokka cupped his hands in front of his chest. "Woman."
"So?"
Sokka smiled kindly on his friend. If their cages weren't hanging out of arm's reach of each other, he would have patted the kid on the head. "You'll understand when you're older."
"Shuddup!" snapped Xin Fu from the arena stage below. "Prisoners that talk don't get their juice box!"
"Aw," said Aang. "I really wanted a juice box."
Sokka said, "You know, buddy, you look like you could use a pick-me-up."
The Avatar brightened. "Have something in mind?"
"How 'bout a song?"
"What do you want to sing?"
"Well, I was thinking... we're inside a mountain."
"Yes?"
Sokka said, "And we're 'forbidden' from talking with each other."
"Yessss?"
"And we're in a large room under that mountain that might, under some definitions, be considered a tunnel."
The two boys stared at each other; then, together in chorus:
"SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!"
* * *
Continue reading in Chapter 1b
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: R
Summary: What if Toph had been 22, not 12, when the Gaang had met her in "The Blind Bandit"?
Notes: Special thanks to ~sylvacoer and
attackfish for beta reading this fic!The Full Metal Bitch
Part 1 of 5
Part 1 of 5
"--the BLIND BANDIT!"
The knockout in the shiny green cheongsam raised the belt high. The crowd went nuts.
At first glance Sokka thought the lady on stage, flanked by two slimmer women in white dresses, was just another showgirl. It was only when the two attendants took away her sequined cape and the giant belt that it dawned on Sokka that this woman wasn't introducing the champion. She was the champion.
It as then and there that Sokka decided, Water Tribe pride be damned, if earthbending gladiators could show off legs that go up to there, then maybe the Earth Kingdom had something over his own nation.
* * *
"Please listen! I need an earthbending teacher, and I think it's supposed to be you."
The twenty-something laughed a touch bitterly. "I think you just showed you're pretty good already, kid." The Blind Bandit reached into the diamond-shaped window on her dress, pulled a small piece of paper out of her cleavage and handed it to him. "Come see me tomorrow, Fancy Dancer. I can beat whatever merchandising rights Xin Fu promises you -- Toph Bei Fong deals in gross, not net, and anyone who says otherwise is a son of a bitch."
Aang pondered the warmth imbedded in the sweat-and-sandalwood perfumed business card for long enough that when he finally looked up, the Blind Bandit was gone.
* * *
Katara decided five minutes on that a 'business dinner' was the most horrible thing a human being could experience, and she'd been buried alive.
After they flashed the business card at the front gate, the three of them were relieved of their boots and given pedicures. Servants washed their feet but no indoor shoes or slippers were provided. Apparently everyone went barefoot inside the walls of the estate. It was because, as the maid scrubbing between Katara's toes explained, the mistress of the house had been raised to be 'a proper lady' and expected her guests to go barefoot too. "Lady Toph asked us to inform you," the maid added, "that the part about being pregnant is entirely optional."
That should have been a clue.
A guard escorted them inside to a dining room. There were three people waiting for them, an older, grey-haired couple sitting quietly at one end of the table and, dominating the opposite end, was Lady Toph Bei Fong.
She had ditched her napkin-sized dress for a form-fitting, high-necked mint green silk blouse and matching pants. A wide, dark green sash was tied around the woman's waist. Katara wondered who was in charge of dressing the blind woman, because while the colors were tasteful it was all a bit too tight and eye-catching for a woman's modesty.
There was certainly no need for Lady Toph to need to catch anyone's eye. It was hard to ignore a woman so large that she made her own dinner table look like a child's play set.
Lady Toph bid them a boisterous welcome and then kicked up her bare feet on the table. Her soles were soot black. Katara glanced at the elder Bei Fongs for their reaction, but they both simply stared at their table settings with expressions that went beyond resignation into some heretofore unexplored realm of ignominy.
The food was of a quality that Katara hadn't tasted since their group's welcoming feast at the North Pole, but the silk table cloth and general finery of the estate house were a step far above the austerity of the Northern Water Tribe's palace. Everything about the Bei Fongs screamed money and they weren't shy about it.
Their shiny dinner plates, for instance, were made of something that looked like steel but was far lighter. When she asked about it, Lady Toph slurred that they were made of something called 'aluminum'. Katara has the sense she's supposed to be impressed by that for some reason.
"Just so you know," Lady Toph said between swigs straight from a massive bottle of rice wine, as she perilously tilted her chair backwards, "I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Fancy Dancer. I know I was a little bit of a bitch last night." She rubbed her red nose. "I don't like to lose. But itsh okay! I've been winning for too long. A challenge now and then helps keep even the meanest Saber-tooth Moose-lion at the top of her pack, y'know? Plus it'll make for great ticket sales next season when I stage my comeback! So practice hard for Earth Rumble VII -- I'll be out for you!"
Aang smiled politely. "Actually, I won't be competing next season."
Lady Toph slowly set down her rice wine bottle. "Oh?"
Everyone else in the dining room froze. The help paused mid-motion, holding bowls of soup halfway down to the table. Katara realized that their eyes were darting between Lady Toph's measured blankness and Aang's happy ignorance. Sokka squawked when one nervous server overfilled his cup, spilling wine all over his place setting and into his lap.
"I'm kind of going to be busy defeating the Fire Lord. See, I'm the Avatar." There was the usual round of questions and demonstrations, which ended with Lady Toph staring blankly at him and Aang declaring, "...but first I need to find an earthbending teacher."
To which Lady Toph replied, "Huh."
The servants went back to their tasks and then quickly shuffled out of the dining room. Hidden beneath the cover of the table, Katara's freshly pedicured toes curled.
Aang rolled on excitedly, "This crazy friend of mine who's King of Omashu said I needed to find someone who waits and listens to the earth, a master of neutral jing. Plus I had a vision in a magic swamp where I saw you and a flying boar and then I recognized you at the Earth Rumble and your business card as a flying boar inked on it and--"
The noblewoman motioned for silence. "That's great. So, what, you want me to recommend a good instructor? Because I know a few. Hell, I own all the dojos in Gaoling. Give me a name and I'll comp you all the lessons you need. Toph Bei Fong supports the war effort one hundred and ten percent."
Katara blinked. "Really?"
"So, like, even Master Yu works for you?" asked Sokka. "Because Aang had a coupon for him and he kinda sucked."
A wolfish smile spread across Lady Toph's face. "Yu and I go waaaay back. See, I used to run away a lot when I was younger and my parents -- " she gestured to the meek couple at the far end of the table " -- would pay him to go bring me back. I got to thinking... my parents were paying him a buttload of gold to catch me. So I cut a deal with him to 'run away' a few times and be caught for a slice of the reward. I used that seed money to make my first fortune in the weapons trade and then secretly bought out my Dad's businesses. Now I don't need to run away from home -- I own it! So yeah, Master Yu rocks."
"That's horrible!" exclaimed Katara. "How could you do that to your own mother and father?!"
"With a smile." Lady Toph threw her head back and laughed, loud as a thundercrack. The porcelain teacups rattled in their saucers. "Oh yes, I'm a total bastard, aren't I?"
"Dear!" chided her mother, speaking for the first time that night.
Lady Toph shot her mother a dirty look, somehow fixing her a stink eye with the same precision targeting she used to battle the Boulder the night before. Her mother turned away. Her father reached out and took hold of his wife's hand. They held onto each other like they were both drowning and didn't want to sink down into the murk alone
Katara pushed her dinner plate away, appetite lost.
"Although not a bastard in the sense I was born out of wedlock." Toph held up an index finger. "I want that to be very clear. My parents are many things, but morally lax isn't -- well, they are, honestly, but not about sex."
Dinner went downhill from there.
* * *
Sokka wasn't sure what was better about dessert: the cake or the eye candy.
* * *
"It's just ahead," said Toph. "C'mon."
Aang followed. The woman led him to the rear of her family estate, to an extension that budded off the main compound. At first Aang thought the standalone building was a shrine or private study, but he was not twenty feet from the door when the wind shifted and a wave of heat and smoke washed over him.
Walking inside only confirmed his suspicion; it was a forge.
Toph led him into the middle of the metal workshop, then told him to wait. She went over to a far wall, one decorated with a range of metalwork spanning from swords, dishes, axes, helmets, to even what looked to be an arm and a leg.
The earthbender retrieved two sheathed swords.
Tossing the black-clad one onto a cluttered worktable next to her, she held out the other sword, sheathed in lacquered ebony-oak inlaid with an entwined double dragon motif. Even in the dim smoldering light of the forge's starved furnace, the scabbard's golden inlay gleamed. Intertwined blue and red dragons and stylized suns and tongues of flame rippled over its burnished surface.
Toph grasped the blade by its silk-cord-wrapped hilt and smoothly drew the sword out. She held the blade aloft, tip pointing towards the ceiling. "This is a genuine Piandao. Not ten years ago, you couldn't find a better piece of craftsmanship in the world if you were in the market for a sword. It has balance, flexibility and strength. In the Fire Nation, it's an elite status symbol to own a Piandao sword. That's why the scabbard's all flash. It belonged to a firebender who never relied on a sword in battle."
"If it belonged to a firebender, how did you get a hold of it?"
"You're asking a blind person to draw you a picture?"
Toph airily swung the blade around in flourishing circles to either side of Aang. He did not feel the least threatened. If the last few months on the road had taught him anything about fighting, it's that there was a clear difference between a weapon used with killing intent and one taken out by a showboat for martial practice.
He'd still like to know how a 'blind' woman can do this without accidentally chopping his head off.
Toph finished her set and gently laid the Piandao sword aside on a nearby stone table. She picked up the other sword from the cluttered workbench and silently presented it to Aang. The sheath was a pebbly, lackluster black. The hilt was undyed ray-shark leather. Aesthetically, it wasn't even a novice's effort compared to the beauty of the Piandao.
She drew the blade. There were no elegant loops and twirls this time. She simply turned to the right, raised the weapon over her head, and, with a wicked scream that pierced the night, brought the sword down in a chopping motion. Both the Piandao sword and the three-inch thick stone table it was resting on were cut clean in half.
Aang stumbled back in fright.
"And that," Toph Bei Fong declared, "is one of my swords."
The noblewoman partially sheathed the killer blade and offered it to him. Aang stared at the gift, half-certain it will bite him like a rabid rat-viper after that performance, but tentatively accepted it.
Toph warned him, "Don't pull it out all the way. Don't touch the edges, either. It'll take a finger off."
Aang found the blade astonishingly lightweight. If he hadn't just seen it cut through solid stone, he would have guessed it was made of painted wood rather than steel. He balanced the plain black sheath across his palms, then warily gripped it by the hilt and pulled the sword out a little. The wavelike blue-and-black patterned steel jumped out at Aang. It was exactly the same kind of steel that the Blue Spirit had drawn across his neck at the Pohuai Stronghold.
Toph bent the stone table back into one piece. "Bei Fong swords are the finest in the world," she explained calmly. "There's not a man in the Earth Kingdom that doesn't wish he had one of my blades in his hands when he faces the Fire Nation in battle. And you can bet that the firebenders are afraid of them."
"Why?"
"Because this was the kind of blade that harassed the Fire Nation at the Siege of Ba Sing Se." Toph hopped up onto the stone workbench and crossed her legs. Flicking her long black hair over her shoulder, she said, "I was there, you know. On the Wall."
Aang returned the sword to its scabbard and held it out for the noblewoman. Somehow, she knew exactly where to reach. "Were you scared?"
"I was young and stupid and pissed at my parents." Toph shrugged. "I was sixteen. Go figure."
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't have to," she said casually. "I'm a grown woman."
"I'm twelve. I'm scared a lot."
"Yeah, being a kid sucks." Toph smiled at some memory replaying behind her milky eyes. It was the first time Aang feels like she wasn't putting a show for the world around her, or for herself. "When I was twelve, I dreamed about running away from home. Even did it a few times. Kept coming back, though."
"How come?"
She chuckled softly. "Because there was no where to run to."
He thought back to that last night in the Southern Air Temple, of the burning desire to go anywhere and be someone else. At least he still had Appa. At least he found Katara and Sokka. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Toph said, her mirth draining away. "I'm not a kid anymore. I made a mint during the Siege of Ba Sing Se plying my metalwork and now I'm in control. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want."
Aang was impressed. "Wow! That must be really great. If I didn't have to fight the Fire Lord, I'd spend all my time with my friends."
Toph turned her face away from him. The motion grabbed Aang's attention because the blind woman hadn't yet bothered either way with line-of-sight between them. Feeling guilty at upsetting her, Aang reached out and laid a comforting hand on her upper arm. "Toph, I--"
"If I needed a friend, I'd get a poodle-monkey." She brushed away his hand. "Let's get down to business. You want me to be your earthbending instructor. Why?"
"My friend Bumi said--"
"No. Why do you want me to teach you, Avatar?"
Aang hesitated for a moment. This was one of Those Questions, the kind Gyatso used to slip into small talk during Pai Sho games. "I... think destiny wants us to work together, but that's not why. Not really. I want you to teach me because you're a great earthbender, Toph, and because you're the most earthbender-y person I know."
"That's not a real word, kid."
He spread his palms. "Well, what would you call it? You're loud, direct and -- " hard " -- proud."
"The term you're looking for," said Toph, a smirk gracing her heart-shaped face, "is 'badass'."
Aang smiled too. "Being the Avatar is more than just learning how to bend the elements, it's about understanding the ways of the Four Nations so you can bring harmony to them."
"And you think I'm the person to teach you about the Earth Kingdom?" When he nodded, she barked with laughter. "Not much to know, kid. Stand your ground to the people attacking from the front. Watch your back for knives from the people standing behind you. Never change, even when you need to. Rot from the inside of your heart out. That's the Earth Kingdom way."
Aang pondered at how a blind woman could 'see' him nod his head. Were the milky eyes just a trick? He crossed his own grey eyes at her and stuck out his tongue. Toph didn't take offense. Then how? She hadn't cut him with that sword and she had been coordinated enough at dinner to reach across the table and eat off Katara's plate when she had turned up her nose at the second course.
Toph was just so strange. There was something really off about her self-assuredness. It wasn't something Aang thought to connect with a blind person. And no earthbender he had ever met had such terribly filthy, well-traveled feet. Aang bet she could have rubbed her soles together to light a fire if she didn't have spark rocks handy.
...Feet...
Aang looked at Toph's feet.
Toph was a tall woman, and all the tables in this foundry had apparently been made to be extra high off the ground so she could comfortably use them. She had one foot pressed up against the leg on the stone workbench, but the other foot was halfway stepping off the ground. Toph had to really stretch her leg out to touch the ground. Aang didn't understand how she wasn't cramping up.
No, he realized with dawning awareness, that's not the right question.
The right question was: why make such an effort to touch the ground in the first place?
The answer burst from his lips so quickly that he didn't even give a first thought to holding back, "You see with your earthbending, don't you?!"
Toph, who had been lazing on the edge of the workbench, snapped upright. The easygoing expression on her faces tightened into something unpleasant. She hopped off the workbench and took two steps over towards Aang. Towering over him, she stared him down with unblinking milky jade eyes and declared, "Congratulations. I'm impressed."
"...Thanks?"
"Let's cut the chatter. You want me to leave behind a lucrative business empire to live in the dust and eat wild critters... all so I can cram earthbending into your head before the end of the summer so you, a little twelve year-old boy, can take on the Fire Lord?"
Aang tugs at his collar. "Well--"
"No."
"What?"
"My answer. Is no." Toph tucked a strand of raven-crow black hair back behind one ear. Her unseeing eyes were hard, like jade buried deep within white diamonds. "I won't be your earthbending teacher."
"But you have to be!" cried Aang. "We all have to do our part to end this war. And yours is to teach me earthbending, I know it is!"
Toph's lips curled back, revealing gleaming teeth and spit-slick gums. "I was 'doing my part' on the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se, fighting alongside good men and women who didn't come home. Tell me, where was the Avatar when the Fire Nation broke through the Outer Wall? Why wasn't the Avatar there to stop the Dragon of the West when he was ready to burn the heart of the Earth Kingdom to ashes?!"
Aang blinked away tears. Voice throaty, he gave the only reasonable response -- a question. "Why wasn't the Avatar there when his own people were wiped out? Because... because he ran away."
The noblewoman pivoted on one blackened heel, turning her back to him. Shoulders rigid, Toph sucked in a sharp breath, held it, and then said in a low voice that brooked no argument, "Get out. Before I say something I'll regret."
* * *
Toph waited until the kid was out of sight before she allowed herself to cradle her burning face in her hands. It's been ages since she had gotten good and angry. Toph left many things at the Wall, her temper among them. Or so she thought.
Little bastard, she thought to herself, grinding the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. How dare he? What right does the Avatar have to live with his mistake?
Rather than show her flushed cheeks and moist eyes to the help, Toph busied herself by picking up the broken Piandao from the floor. The twenty-two year old knew an onlooker would be shocked by the brazen disregard she showed for her own safety, grabbing the edged weapon with both fists like it was a butter knife. It was why she didn't let anyone inside her workshop. Toph had to protect her trade secret.
Holding the two sword halves together, Toph concentrated on the metal. The cut edges of the Piandao steel bubbled and morphed, merging back together into a single piece. The job wasn't done yet. There were microscopic stress fractures in the metal, ones invisible to normal human eyes or hands. In time, they could grow and cause the blade to break. Toph didn't plan on swordfighting anytime soon, let alone with his weapon, but she respected good metalwork. With a thousand subtle manipulations of the refined Earth sprinkled through the steel, Toph repaired the fracturing. In less than a minute the sword was as good as new.
After she first held a Piandao, Toph had spent days running her fingers up and down the cool steel, committing every particle of the many-layered sword to memory. She still had yet to see anything as beautiful as the alignment of the refined earth elements in a Piandao: the high-quality steel, the absence of bubbles or major impurities, the endless folds and the lethal focus of its edge.
Earth Kingdom swords were, as a rule, crap. For all the mineral richness of their continent, Toph knew her people typically couldn't forge good steel to save their lives. How could they, when a decent industrial firebender could personally generate a far higher temperature in their foundry and with exacting precision? Earth Kingdom swords were all potential, no payoff.
Toph's secret was that she forged her own swords with more than just fire. The whole hammer and anvil set-up helped speed things along, synthesizing her secret alloy from base materials, but the hard work she did hands-on. Toph sculpted her steel with metalbending, creating swords impossible to duplicate by other means.
The ingredients in her steel were exotic ores that Toph discovered while wandering the Earth Kingdom as a vagabond youth. Most of her alloying ingredients didn't even have true names, like iron or gold did, but Toph had trained her sense to recognize each one's distinct feel. Toph alone could extract them from base rock. She had made her second fortune that way in the aluminum trade. Along with her metalbending, it was the secret to her success as a swordsmith. No one else could compete on her level.
Piandao came close, though.
People said Piandao was not a firebender. His parents had pawned him off to a state orphanage when he had proven not to be a bender. Toph often wondered how he forged his blades. A simple furnace like she herself supposedly used? Or did he have a secret bending technique too, one his parents had appreciated? Either way, he certainly folded over his steel like nobody's business.
Toph owned another Piandao, one hidden away in her private underground bedroom alongside her library of premium weapons, rock collection, metallic exotica and fossils. It was hers and hers alone, not like the second-hand booty she had showed Aang. Toph had obtained her original at great expense through a black market trader who ran a merchant ship through the Fire Navy Blockade via the colonies in the Occupied Provinces.
Sometimes Toph went to sleep with that Piandao sword just to hold onto something so perfect. It almost made her time on the Wall worth it, to have stumbled across such a wonderful piece of earth amidst so much carnage.
And then there was the rest of time, when she wasn't being a selfish dumbass.
Sheathing her battlefield prize, Toph set the Piandao and her own demonstration sword back on the foundry's far wall. It was late. She had a large order to fill for some general named Fong and a bad night's sleep always made the job that much harder.
* * *
Aang was stumbling through the dark garden when he bumped into Sokka. The Water Tribe boy got the first word in. Aang was worn out from his conversation with the lady of the house.
"Hey," said Sokka, looking past him. "Is Toph back that way?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Sokka twiddled his fingers together. "Oh, you know. I just thought we could have a little talk, warrior to warrior. Swap stories. Maybe have a friendly drink or two." He sighed wistfully. "Didja know she led some sort of special task force during the Siege of Ba Sing Se? I saw her uniform display when her old lady was taking us on that walking tour. Imagine that -- rich, a looker, a class act and a war hero. Aside from me being dirt poor, we have so much in common!"
There were many things wrong with that statement. Before Aang could correct his friend on any of them, metal cages slammed down on him and Sokka.
An ominous voice growled, "I think you boys owe me some money."
* * *
Sokka gripped the bars of his cage and leaned forward. "I know, I know. You must get asked this a lot, but can I have your autograph?"
"SOKKA!" cried Aang from his own cage, slung over the Big Bad Hippo. "There's a time and a place!"
"The Boulder concurs," said the muscled gladiator, glancing up at Sokka. "Autographs must come from officially licensed Earth Rumble retailers during regular business hours."
"Aw! Come on!" Sokka stuck one scraggly arm out through the bars. "Just on the bicep is fine. I won't tell anyone! What do you have to be afraid of anyway?"
"The Boulder fears no man! Breach of contract, however..."
"Quit yer yapping," Xin Fu ordered. The ringmaster glanced back at his troop of professional earthbenders. "I want to get as far away from that crazy bitch's house as quickly and quietly as possible."
"Hey!" shouted Sokka. "How dare you insult a lady! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Toph Bei Fong is the sweetest, most gentle creature to walk the face of the Earth!" Everyone exploded with laughter, including Aang, which confused Sokka. "What? Is basic chivalry too much to ask for in this day and age? And Aang -- you're a hundred and twelve! Shouldn't you be charmingly old-fashioned?!"
"I like to think of myself as a hundred and twelve years young, Sokka."
* * *
Katara knelt to the grass. Reaching out, she felt around in the broad grove carved into the ground where sod once was. "There has to be a clue. Something to lead us to Sokka and Aang!"
"It's not that big of a mystery," said Lady Toph, yawning. "Xin Fu took them, obviously."
"What?" Katara stalked over to her. A sharp odor of liquor cut through the cool nighttime air. Katara wasn't sure if it was stronger coming from the earthbender's breath or from the jewel-encrusted golden goblet pasted into her left hand. "Who's Xin Fu? How do you know him?"
Lady Toph's lips hovered over the rim of the cup. She smiled. "He's the scoundrel who runs the Earth Rumble. A little too prone to bypass negotiations and go straight to cracking knees, but otherwise he's been a good investment." She paused to take a sip. "I'm a silent partner in the Earth Rumble league but let's keep that fact between us girls, m'kay? I don't want anyone to get the idea we fix the matches. It's more like... a personal gym, with my own private collection of sweaty hunks and adoring cheerleaders."
"You do business with that kind of man?!"
"I'll do business with anyone who doesn't bend fire."
"That's horrible!"
"That's business," Lady Toph retorted. "Xin Fu is a jerk, but the Earth Rumble he started employs dozens of people and makes thousands more happy. On the balance, it's a net positive. Didn't your parents ever tell you greed is good?"
Katara averted her eyes, disgusted with the wretch standing in front of her. "No, but I bet yours did, didn't they?"
"Yup."
"If Xin Fu runs the Earth Rumble, then he probably took Aang and Sokka to the arena."
"Fair bet. It's his territory. He knows all the ins and outs. Legally, he can do whatever he wants with anyone who trespasses. Fortunately you have me on your side, so that won't be an issue."
"Then let's go!" Katara started for the estate's front gate but was yanked backwards by a hand on her shoulder.
Lady Toph said, "Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up, kid. We can't just rush in there."
"...You're right," Katara conceded, almost choking on her own words. "We need a plan."
"I meant I need to finish my nightcap first, sweetheart." She saluted Katara. "Cheers."
Katara slapped the wine cup out of Lady Toph's hands. All the servants and guards floating around the edge of the scene shirked away, afraid. "Don't you care about anything?! Sokka and Aang could be hurt or worse and you're just standing around getting drunker!"
The long, slim fingers on the hand that held her wine cup twiddled in the air, as if searching for their proper place. They found it when Lady Toph took hold of Katara by the collar of her white-trimmed robe and jerked her off her feet. Dangling over a foot in the air, Katara was brought eye-to-eye with the blind noblewoman.
Flatly, Lady Toph declared, "Let's get one thing straight, little girl. I don't need to help you. I don't particularly want to help you. I'd rather start sleeping off my burgeoning hangover. However, I will help you for the simple reason that Xin Fu has disrespected me and mine by attacking a guest in my house. That shit will not stand. No, no. So please try to get it through that thick Water Tribe skull of yours that if I won't tolerate disrespect towards my guests, neither would I tolerate it from a guest." Lady Toph shook her for emphasis. "Got it?"
With the unerring accuracy of a younger sibling used to effortlessly scoring cheap shots off her brother's weak points, Katara zeroed in on what she knew about Lady Toph and replied, "Sure do, Mom."
The noblewoman flinched. Katara grinned inwardly even as she was dropped and landed hard on her tailbone.
"Whatever." Lady Toph cracked her knuckles. "Let's go rescue the boys. Hopefully they're holding together all right."
* * *
"I had dinner with the Blind Bandit, got a free pedicure and was personally kidnapped by the Boulder." Sokka sighed against the bars of his cage. "This has been the best day ever."
From his own cage several feet away, Aang asked, "What about that time you foiled Jet's plan to destroy that village?"
"That was a good day too, but it didn't involve dinner with a--" Sokka cupped his hands in front of his chest. "Woman."
"So?"
Sokka smiled kindly on his friend. If their cages weren't hanging out of arm's reach of each other, he would have patted the kid on the head. "You'll understand when you're older."
"Shuddup!" snapped Xin Fu from the arena stage below. "Prisoners that talk don't get their juice box!"
"Aw," said Aang. "I really wanted a juice box."
Sokka said, "You know, buddy, you look like you could use a pick-me-up."
The Avatar brightened. "Have something in mind?"
"How 'bout a song?"
"What do you want to sing?"
"Well, I was thinking... we're inside a mountain."
"Yes?"
Sokka said, "And we're 'forbidden' from talking with each other."
"Yessss?"
"And we're in a large room under that mountain that might, under some definitions, be considered a tunnel."
The two boys stared at each other; then, together in chorus:
"SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!"
* * *
Continue reading in Chapter 1b
