lavanya_six | Abandoned Fic -- Is 8 Enough? (Reply)

TITLE: Certain Facts in the Harsh Light of Day

SUMMARY: (Post-BD) I didn't set out to kill my parents, it just kinda happened that way.

Rating: T+

My name is Renesmee (just… don't ask) "Nessie" Cullen. I'm five years old, look like a seventeen year old supermodel, have powers and abilities beyond that of mortal men, and I'm immortal to boot.

I've also just murdered everyone who's ever loved me.

I feel pretty okay about that.

=--==-=--==-3-==-

"School?! With humans?!" I cried. "No! I'm NOT going!"

It was a perfect summer afternoon in my family's cottage. Conditions inside, however, were less than perfect.

My mother rolled her eyes. My father tut-tutted with his tongue in that way of his. He used to make that same sound whenever he was able to track me during our weekly 'hide and seek' hunting sessions. He hadn't caught me since I was three.

I'm good at hunting.

"You need to socialize with people your own age, Nessie," said Mom.

I sneered. "Then shouldn't you be enrolling me in preschool?"

"You look seventeen," she pointed out, "but you need to work on your people skills. You can't stay in these woods forever. You have to go out sometime."

"I go out plenty! I help Grandpa at the hospital sometimes! I visit Jacob at the reservation!"

Daddy would have none of it. "Neither of whom are human. You need to learn how to deal with people, and lots of them. Besides, your mother and I worry sometimes that you don't get out enough here."

"I'm perfectly happy," I said. And I was happy. I had my parents, my home, Jacob, and the forest to hunt in. What more could I need to be happy? "And if I have to play with humans why can't I do it at, I dunno, college or something? High school is so boring!" Before my parents could react I added, "And don't think I don't know it's boring! I've been inside your minds often enough to know how much you hated high school. Especially you, Mom."

"That may be, but it's still important to go. You're mature for your age, obviously, but you don't have experience, baby girl. You're only four years old and it shows. You've let your temper get the better of you too many times already." Bella Cullen, immortal vampire, tucked a loose hair behind her ear. The movement was fluid and she otherwise sat perfectly still. "And besides, what's wrong with humans? Some of my best friends are humans."

"Like who?"

"Huh?"

"Who are your human friends?" I asked. "You spend more time at this cottage than even I do. Even Grandpa Swan doesn't ever come to v—"

"That's enough," snapped my father. "You're going to attend high school, young lady," said Daddy. "And that's final."

-3-----

"Jason Bartlet?"

A boy with a face as pock-marked and cratered as the moon raised a gangly arm. "Here."

"Why don't you tell us three interesting things about yourself, Jason?"

He turned around in his seat to face the class. His expression was one of nonchalance. "Hi, everyone. My name's Jason." He waved halfheartedly. "I'm sixteen. I have two brothers, both younger than me. My dog's name is Cody." And without another word he turned around and slumped back down into his seat.

The teacher seemed satisfied. She moved onto the next name on her list. "Re… Renes… um? Ms. Cullen?"

"Renesmee," I volunteered, pronouncing my name slowly for the stranger 'ruh-nez-ay'. "I usually just go by 'Nessie'."

"Ah." The teacher scratched a note onto the attendance sheet. "Sorry. You must get that a lot."

I nodded.

"So," said the teacher, "Nessie, tell us about yourself."

Taking my cue from the ache-scared boy, I turned around in my seat and look casually at the rest of the class. They were a fidgeting bunch, stinking of sweat and perfumes. My sense of smell being what it is, I identified them more by their individual odor than by their faces. Not for the first time I wondered how clumsy, weak human with their signal flares of BO walked around without being eaten by bears. I suppose rifles and shotguns are something of an equalizer.

"My name's Nessie Cullen," I said. "I'm sixteen. I'm an only child. In my free time I like to go hunting. I wear these gloves," I held up my hands, which were encased in fine black material three-quarters of the way up to my elbows, "because I have some pretty bad scars from a car accident a few years back."

The gloves were my Grandma Cullen's suggestion. Despite my skill at controlling my ability to touch other's minds I still slip up now and then. I'm just too used to doing it with my parents, I suppose. It's how I've 'talked' since before I could talk. For the sake of my family's secret I wear the gloves to protect against accidentally letting some random guy I brush against in the hallway during a passing period in on the fact that there are, in fact, things that go bump in the night.

Several of the other students eyed my gloved hands with naked curiosity, several more students looking at me without trying to look like they are. I can hear two girls whispering about how, even though I'm pretty, being scarred must 'bring me down to Earth' since my hands must look 'gross'.

Despite the fact that I'm neither gross nor actually scarred (not that I care what they think), I fight back a snarl at the gossipy bitches. I think some of my anger must have leaked out, however, as more than a few sets of eyes darted from my hands up to lock onto my face.

I turned away from them and cursed my parents for sending me to this godforsaken place.

=--==-=--==-3-==-

Have you ever loved someone? I mean, full-on stars in your eyes love? I have, not that I had a choice in the matter.

Growing up a young girl in my parent's cottage I was always thrilled when we had visitors from outside the family. My mother and father were private people, so was the rest of my extended family. I didn't understand why when I was a seven year old. I was just a kid even if I looked like a young woman. But it always made my day when 'Uncle' Jacob visited.

Just seeing him put a smile on my face. Even now, knowing what I know, it'd be a lie to say I don't feel my pulse quicken thinking of him. I've even called out his name a few times, which does nothing to endear me to my various lovers.

There was a time I would have married that man, the man my mother loved.

But the hell of it is that I never really loved 'Uncle' Jacob myself, not that I called him 'Uncle' back then. Oh no, that'd be creepy for my parents. No one wants the whiff of incest in an arranged marriage.

"What?" you ask. "Arranged marriage?"

It's true! See, from practically the moment I was born the stars aligned and laid out my destiny. My parents would raised me to my full growth and then civilize me to 'pass' in human society like them. That's pretty goddamn funny coming from people who glitter under sunlight and sport yellow eyes.

But for all that they talked about nurturing me and helping me to reach my potential they never thought to let me have my own heart. Instead I inherited my mother's hand-me-down heart, one filled with passion and pure love for my 'Uncle' Jacob.

From the moment my mother raped my mind with her love for my 'Uncle' Jacob I was set on a one-way course to marry that fine-looking Native American hunk of werewolf. And why did my mother do it? Because… because it helped her get over him. How sick is that? Now I know you think she didn't do it purposefully, that is was Fate or Destiny or any other proper noun you capitalize. Well I blame my mother, that's my right as her daughter! So fuck off!

I wish I could tell you that that's my reason killing my mother but it's not.

But the worst thing? I think I sorta loved 'Uncle' Jacob in my own limited way. It's hard to spend so much time with a person, to enter into their soul like I can, and not love them a little. It almost makes me feel remorse over what I did.

Almost.

Really, of all the people involved in this tale of woe it's my 'Uncle' Jacob that was the least to blame for what happened. Do I hate him for imprinting on me, a newborn baby? Yes, I do. But it wasn't his fault. I was just in the wrong place, with the wrong parents, at the wrong time. Imprinting is just the nature of werewolves. I mean, do you blame a dog for licking its balls? No, you don't. It's a dog. Dogs like their balls. Werewolves imprint. Vampires kill and drink blood. Humans kill and breed.

Me?

I tell the truth.

=-=-3=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

(attending HS for first time)

(being a normal girl, also hunting for blood in woods)

(kissing boy, mother's light disapproval)

(Uncle Jacob stuff)

(extended family back in Alaska for season)

(kissing girl to piss off mother, Nessie chastised for 'heartless rebellion' but Bella expresses idea that Nessie will understand in the future… leading to this…)

"Oh, sweet Nessie," my mother said, mussing up my ratty brown hair. "One day you'll have an Edward Cullen and a cottage of your own and everything will make sense."

"Right," I said.

=-=-3=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

My mother never understood me back then, no matter how much I tried talking to her. I didn't want an Edward to call my own, at least not yet. I wanted to find out who I was first. I wanted to see this whole vast wide world that I read about in books and saw on TV or in movies. A satellite dish and an internet connection weren't enough for me. I wanted to see deserts and cities and cave paintings and corral reefs and wild snow leopards and gorillas and everything else that wasn't the Forks or Alaska. I wanted to go to more school, strike out on my own without my parents or aunts or uncles or Jacob doting over me. I wanted to see and do everything my mother gave up so that she'd be married to my father.

And I could have done all that. They would have let me. Only… there were two rubs.

I didn't like them letting me do anything. I'm my own person. I don't need to listen to them.

I would have come back eventually, because everything's eventually when you're talking about Immortals like me or my parents or my 'Uncle' Jacob. And when I did inevitably come back home it'd mean I'd never leave since I'd have my 'cottage' to tend.

My own cottage with 'Uncle' Jacob… providing him with the life and the love my mother never gave him.

Because, after all, Jacob was important. Jacob deserved love. If Jacob couldn't have the woman he loved then let's make it so he has the daughter of the woman he loved. Let's make it so the daughter has all her mother's love for Jacob. Let's never give the daughter a chance to find her own love, her own life. Let's make it so she already loved someone before she was even toilet-trained. Let's make it so that everyone will get their happy ending even if it means gluing all the loose strings together with magic and Fate and fuckall. Let's ask Nessie to put on an apron and bake cookies for her Loving Master because that's what she was put on Earth to do!

…

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm still just a little bitter about the whole thing.

So there I was, standing in my mother's cottage, knowing that in just a few short years it would be my turn with Jacob and his cottage. If I ran away, spent centuries on my own, my parents and Jacob would still be waiting with open arms to take me back. And I'd come back eventually, make so mistake, even if just for the novelty of it after seeing and doing so much else.

That was my problem.

Even if I saw all the ancient cave paintings and read all the world's books and walk through every marketplace on Earth and did all the things I'd want to do with my Immortal life… I'd still eventually, inevitably, inexorably end up in a cottage with Jacob. I'd be my mother. I'd be living my mother's life. I'd be loving the man my mother loved with not my heart but my mother's heart.

I never, EVER wanted to end up like that. It made me sick just thinking about it.

But no one cared what I wanted. No one thought that any of this was wrong.

Have I mentioned that I didn't set out to kill my parents? That it just sorta kinda happened that way?

Well, here's how it just sorta kinda happened....

=-=-3=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[more background]

I know, I know. Double-you tee eff, huh?

[murders family]

My name was Renesmee (just… don't ask) "Nessie" Cullen. I have a new name now. I'm five years old, look like a seventeen year old supermodel, have powers and abilities beyond that of mortal men, and I'm immortal to boot.

Destiny says I'm supposed to bring a new era of peace to the Earth. And so I will. Once I've killed every vampire, werewolf, shape-shifter, and other monstrosity that blights this planet the human race will have eternal protection from the things that prey on them. The hearts of vulnerable, love sick teenagers won't be ensnared by century-old vampiric child molesters. The minds of little girls won't be raped by their mother's supernatural power. Most importantly, people will be born human and they'll die human.

When I have brought the twilight of the supernatural, and I alone remain as the last desperate flicker of the otherworldly on the horizon of mankind's past, I will destroy myself. At last midnight will toll for the things that hid for so long under the veil of night.

And if you or the people you care about are ever threatened by a vampire or a werewolf or anything monstrous I want you to tell them something. Tell them that I'll find them, even if it takes a thousand years. Tell them that their time is ending. Tell them my name, my new name.

Let the monsters know… Twilight is coming.