Bei Fong ignored him. "I'm gonna hire a playwright to write it up. I'm gonna hire Pu-on Tim! Or whatever Omashu knockoff Pu-on Tim I can hire if he ain't willing to whore himself out." She rubbed her nose. "I need to sit down."
Sokka was completely lost. Bei Fong sat down on the kitchen floor.
"Um," he said, "my discount?"
She nodded drowsily. "Yeah. Hold on a sec. XIAOTUI!!"
A guardsmen in a uniform with a flying boar insignia rushed into the kitchen. He looked at his employer on the ground, then at Sokka, then back at the ground. His lack of follow-up reaction either informed Sokka that the man was completely incompetent at his job or that working for Toph Bei Fong meant dealing with too many bizarre scenarios to react on reflex alone.
"This man," Bei Fong said, pointing over the tabletop at Sokka, "broke into my bedroom after sneaking through security. Gather all the guards together in the courtyard. Full dress. Five minutes.
"Sokka," she said, "ever heard of Master Piandao's legendary fight with one hundred men?" When he cautiously nodded, she added, "Well, I only got about forty guards working for me. Beat 'em all up without killin' 'em and I'll make you the bestest sword in the world! Then we can go find the Avatar in Omashu and you can make more controlled demolicious... damocles... something..."
"Demolitions?" he provided with a squeaky voice.
She snapped her fingers. "Demolitions! Oh, and Xiaotui? Anyone knocked down by Sokka is fired. Whoever knocks Sokka out gets the be captain of the guard. So if you want to keep your job... well... do I have to draw you a picture?"
"N-no, ma'am."
"Awesome."
Xiaotui fled the kitchen.
"On second thought," Sokka said, "I'm fine without a new sword."
"Yeah, you shoulda thought about that before you blew a hole in my ceiling."
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branchandroot
The World of Broken Glass [7.5/14] - Sokka
Date: 2010-11-29 08:14 pm (UTC)Bei Fong ignored him. "I'm gonna hire a playwright to write it up. I'm gonna hire Pu-on Tim! Or whatever Omashu knockoff Pu-on Tim I can hire if he ain't willing to whore himself out." She rubbed her nose. "I need to sit down."
Sokka was completely lost. Bei Fong sat down on the kitchen floor.
"Um," he said, "my discount?"
She nodded drowsily. "Yeah. Hold on a sec. XIAOTUI!!"
A guardsmen in a uniform with a flying boar insignia rushed into the kitchen. He looked at his employer on the ground, then at Sokka, then back at the ground. His lack of follow-up reaction either informed Sokka that the man was completely incompetent at his job or that working for Toph Bei Fong meant dealing with too many bizarre scenarios to react on reflex alone.
"This man," Bei Fong said, pointing over the tabletop at Sokka, "broke into my bedroom after sneaking through security. Gather all the guards together in the courtyard. Full dress. Five minutes.
"Sokka," she said, "ever heard of Master Piandao's legendary fight with one hundred men?" When he cautiously nodded, she added, "Well, I only got about forty guards working for me. Beat 'em all up without killin' 'em and I'll make you the bestest sword in the world! Then we can go find the Avatar in Omashu and you can make more controlled demolicious... damocles... something..."
"Demolitions?" he provided with a squeaky voice.
She snapped her fingers. "Demolitions! Oh, and Xiaotui? Anyone knocked down by Sokka is fired. Whoever knocks Sokka out gets the be captain of the guard. So if you want to keep your job... well... do I have to draw you a picture?"
"N-no, ma'am."
"Awesome."
Xiaotui fled the kitchen.
"On second thought," Sokka said, "I'm fine without a new sword."
"Yeah, you shoulda thought about that before you blew a hole in my ceiling."
"Drat."